Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize