Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize