Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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