how hairy? two words: wookie tits
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
this just has baby written all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
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