Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
You work out of a Hotel?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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