I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize