I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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