Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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