you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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