Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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