Having a random hookup so left but love u
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
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can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Hippo gnu deer
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize