I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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