i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
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Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
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I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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