Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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