I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
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I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
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I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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