Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize