I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize