I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
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whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
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"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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