You really coming over, don't trick.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize