omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize