what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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