I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize