you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
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They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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