Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize