Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize