Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize