I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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