drunk tastebuds have low standards.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
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