You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
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He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
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third nipple confirmed
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize