Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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