im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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