My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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