Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize