im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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