just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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