have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize