your thong is hanging out like whoa
oh god the rape fog is back!
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I checked into jail on foursquare
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
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