is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize