I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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