he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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