Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Randomize