I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize