We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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