And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
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