Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
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Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
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I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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