Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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