Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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