We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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