I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize