I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize